Church Bans Members From Giving Birth, Says World Population In Danger

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Pastor
says, “Maybe if people stopped having so many babies, we could build a
compassionate, sustainable future” 

“Emergency Contraception is only a phone call away… Why wait until the damn
thing gets bigger when you can snuff it now? You’ve got 72 hours!”
“The planet is a living being, and quite capable of self-defense. If the
two-leggeds cannot control their numbers, she will do it for them, and her
measures will be harsh”
They are weird and they make no pretences about that.

And in a world where the freedom to hold a personal opinion however nauseating
is guaranteed as a right, the best you can do is to verbally condemn members of
the  Church of Euthanasia, a group of human beings who teach that the best
wisdom to solving the human challenge is to make sure no one procreates again.

Bible-wielding believers will no doubt
point to the divine commandment to give birth and the fact that the Holy
Scriptures says children are the heritage of the righteous, but for members of
the CoE, as their acronym stands, all that is hogwash.  With a daily
addition of some one million births per day, members of this ‘church’ argues
something drastic and ‘pragmatic’ needs to be done to checkmate the ‘future
tragedy’ this population explosion will pose to the world.
And even weirder is their doctrine of
suicide as the ultimate and best way out for solving the problem of the world.
Incidentally though, no member is ready to follow this counsel as they argue
that they are already fit and sure of doing it, if need be, but are not sure if
others will follow their counsel. So it is better for them to wait for those
who will obey their teaching before they will take up the matter themselves.

“Reverend” Chris Korda founded the CoE, in 1992, with “Pastor” Kim and they are
still leading the ‘church’ with hundreds of active members and online followers
scattered across the globe. One of the “Saints’ of the church, Kevorkian AKA
Dr. Jack Kevorkian, died last year.

Kevorkian had been sentenced for 25
years in prison but spent eight years before he bagged parole. As a condition
of his parole in 2007, he promised not to assist in any more suicides. Although
he had appealed to leave prison early because of poor health, he pointed out he
did not consider himself a candidate for assisted suicide.

The following is an excerpt on the church: The Church of Euthanasia is a
non-profit educational foundation devoted to restoring balance between Humans
and the remaining species on Earth. We believe this can only be accomplished by
a massive voluntary population reduction, which will require a leap in Human
consciousness to a new species awareness.

“The Human population is increasing by
one million every four days. This is a net increase of 95 million per year, the
current population of Mexico. Even major wars or epidemics hardly dent this
rate of growth, and modern wars also have tremendous environmental
consequences. It is for these practical reasons, as well as moral ones, that we
support only voluntary forms of population reduction.

The Church has only one commandment, and it is “Thou Shalt Not
Procreate.” In addition, we have four “pillars” or principles,
which are Suicide, Abortion, Cannibalism and Sodomy.  Note that
cannibalism is only required for those who insist on eating flesh, and is
strictly limited to consumption of the already dead. Also note that sodomy is
defined as any sexual act not intended for procreation: fellatio, cunnilingus,
and anal sex are all forms of sodomy and are still illegal in some parts of the
United States.

How do I become a member?
If you choose to not procreate, you’re a member already, but why not make it
official? Membership includes a life-time subscription to the printed version
of Snuff It, a 28-page e-sermon booklet, and a lovely embossed certificate
suitable for framing, all for only $10.
We take our one commandment very seriously. Membership implies a lifetime vow
to not procreate. Procreation means guaranteed excommunication. There are no
exceptions; abortion will be required, period. Of course, such difficulties can
be avoided by faithful adherence to the fourth pillar (sodomy).
Do I have to kill myself?
Of course you don’t have to kill yourself! If you really want to, though, wait
until after you’ve joined the Church. That way, you automatically become a
saint, without any additional paperwork. Don’t forget to leave a note thanking
and/or blaming the Church, and feel free to will us your estate, if you have
one.
I’ve already procreated. Can I still join?
Absolutely! So long as you don’t have any more. We have a number of members with
children, and we even have a member whose son joined too. What’s done is done.
What matters is your commitment now.
How can I help?
The most important way you can help is by not procreating. If you feel
comfortable taking the lifetime vow, then you should consider officially
joining the Church. It would also very helpful if you could manage to abstain
from eating non-human flesh. .. Finally, you can help by spreading the word.
Talk to people. Proselytize shamelessly. Write a letter to the editor of your local
paper. Get on the radio or TV. Be a nuisance. Cause trouble. Piss people off,
especially your breeding friends. Carpe diem.
Why haven’t you killed yourself yet?
I’ll kill myself when I feel like it. Suicide is OPTIONAL, remember? Maybe if
people stopped having so many babies, we could build a compassionate,
sustainable future, and I wouldn’t want to kill myself anymore. Just kidding!

Clergy:
Reverend Chris Korda founded the CoE, in 1992, with Pastor Kim, and continues
to lead it, spreading the gospel of non-procreation and anti-humanism
throughout the world. The Reverend also creates electronic music, and writes
music software.
Pastor Kim co-founded the CoE,
contributes tirelessly to the planning and execution of CoE actions, and
electrified six million viewers with a crucified rubber chicken on the Jerry
Springer show. A true renaissance man, he excels at mathematics and painting.

Cardinal Paley is a gifted cartoonist and animator, creator of anti-human films
including The Stork, and a member of VHEMT. She joined the CoE in 1996, and was
elevated in 1997, after her single-handed defense of cannibalism on the Jerry
Springer show.
Cardinal Spaink is a writer and
newspaper columnist. She joined the CoE in 1997, and was elevated after she
promoted the CoE in the Dutch national media, including a televison news
appearance during which she made a christian politician sweat visibly.
Vermin Supreme is a media activist, bad-tempered clown, dental hygiene
advocate, perennial presidential hopeful, and all-around celebrity. He joined
the CoE in 1997, and has been known to squirt christians in the face with a
penis-shaped water pistol.
Saints of Euthanasia:
Saint Kevorkian AKA Dr. Jack Kevorkian is the world’s best-known advocate of
euthanasia, and has personally assisted more than 100 suicides. In 1998, CBS’s
“60 Minutes” aired a videotape showing him giving a lethal injection
to Thomas Youk, who suffered from Lou Gehrig’s disease. Kevorkian is currently
serving 10-25 years in prison.

Saint Sanger AKA Margaret Sanger, 1879-1966, founder of the American birth
control movement and Planned Parenthood. Her views on genetic fitness,
fashionable among liberals of her time, would be considered insensitive by
today’s standards, but she was not a racist; her enemies have used falsified
statements to discredit her.

Some sermon extracts money cannot be eaten
Greetings, and welcome to the Church of Euthanasia. Hopefully almost all of you
have received issue number one of our journal by now. I am sure that many
questions still remain, and I’ll try to address the most popular ones, which
are how, and why.

How did we find you? A detailed
explanation would not be appropriate here, but suffice it to say that all of
you have posted to one or more of the same newsgroups over the last month or
so. These newsgroups were carefully chosen for their degree of intersection
with the core principles of the church. We knew that many would react
negatively to our methods, but felt this was outweighed by the need to make a
widespread, immediate impact.

Why did we do this? As many of you are no doubt aware, the population summit
concluded this week in Cairo. If you have been following it in the papers, you
will know that almost nothing of any substance was accomplished. Most of the
conference was devoted to an acrimonious battle with the new Vatican-Muslim
alliance over whether the various charters that were signed could contain the
words “abortion” and “contraception.”

Meanwhile, entire nations are starving
to death, while Americans watch it on television. Almost every day for the last
month there has been at least one article in the Boston Globe about
overpopulation. Many of them have stated clearly that the population is
expected to double in twenty years. This news might as well be on the sports
page; the spectacle continues without interruption.

The turbines still spin, the oil is still sucked out of the earth, the cars and
trucks still poison the air. The consumers still stand in line in supermarkets
to buy food wrapped in plastic. The ideals displayed on American television
still dominate the daily lives of billions of human beings. What will man do
when even the bottled water is poisonous? What will he do when the air makes
him sick, and the sun is so strong he can’t go outside anymore?

The planet is a living being, and quite capable of self-defense. If the
two-leggeds cannot control their numbers, she will do it for them, and her
measures will be harsh. Read the Hopi prophecies. Many of them have already
come true. Now is the time of “koyaanisqatsi,” or “life out of
balance.”

The Internet is the backbone of the
so-called “cyberculture,” an impossible vision of the future in which
men “rule” the Earth through machines. It is for this reason most of
all that we felt it so important to target the Internet. Messages were
delivered to the Whitehouse, to heads of corporations, to high-ranking members
of the military, to scientists, professors, and just regular folks. Needless to
say, many of the recipients are upset. This is a regrettable, but necessary
consequence of any Dada action.
Dada turns people upside down, by
temporarily destroying one or more of their everyday assumptions. The
suspension of “normal” assumptions allows messages that would
ordinarily be screened out to penetrate, even if only for a short time. The
method is unpleasant, but highly effective when dealing with strong
indoctrination such as that provided by television programming, or university
education, for example. Internet users are by and large highly educated members
of the elite, and therefore very likely to be indoctrinated.
The Internet is far more than a
communication system, a web of wires and computers: the Internet is a set of
assumptions, based on the specific world-view of its creators. Who are these
creators, and what is their world-view? The Internet depends directly on the
institutions of the consumer culture, including the federal government, the
military, and the universities and corporations that cooperate with them. Let
us not forget that the Internet has its roots in ARPAnet (the Department of
“Defense”) and NSFnet (the National “Science” Foundation).
The Defenders of Science. Why are they defending science? Who are they
defending it from?
They are defending it from us, my
friends, from the Church of Euthanasia and many other groups like us who oppose
their senseless war with our Mother the Earth. Their schools teach that what
cannot be measured, does not exist. This is Empiricism, the foundation of the
Spectacle, the principle that Socrates died for. Their leaders say that
everyone is entitled to as much as they want, of whatever they want, if they
have the money to buy it.

This is the American Way, of life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness for
the violent and ruthless. Their elites are determined to fight to the bitter
end for their world-view. Their God is Moloch, who eats his children, leaving
only filth, solitude, and ugliness. In the words of the Cree People:
Only after the last tree has been cut down/  Only after the last river has
been poisoned/  Only after the last fish has been caught/ Only then will
you realize that money cannot be eaten.

Let us pray.

Spirits of the four directions, East,
South, West, and North, Powers of the Elements, Air, Fire, Water, and Earth,
 Wheel of the seasons, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter, Be here now, as
we invoke this sacred space,  And for a moment in time, free ourselves
from all limitations,  From all delusions of separateness.

 Be here now, and help us, to draw our spirits down From the lonely flights
of the ego, into our bodies,  And let us be filled with the joy of your
limitless light,  Beyond the bounds of time,  Where night and
day,  Birth and death,  Joy and sorrow,  Meet as one.

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