The Devastating Effects Of Divorce On Children

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Most children from
divorced couples usually become school dropouts, drug addicts, cultists,
prostitutes, armed bandits, charlatans and hooligans due to lack of proper home
training. 
As more couples head to the court room to divorce each other,
most of them never bother to think of their children and how it will affect
them. They assume that things will work out, but  reports have shown that
things only get worse for the children after their parents separate.
According
to Webster’s dictionary, Divorce is “The legal dissolution of marriage or the
termination of an existing relationship or union”

Tina Ali, a victim from divorce home shared her experiences, “My
parents separated when I was just 9 years old. I still can’t remember what
happened, but I will never forget the way daddy threw her things outside and
locked the door. Neighbours came, knocking and begging, but he refused to open
the door that night, and my brother and I got into a huddle, crying. Mum left
that night and the next morning, her family came to talk to daddy, but he
insulted and drove them away.

We didn’t get to see our mother again until after a long time.
Our daddy used to prepare us for school in the morning, and begged neighbours
to help him look after us when we returned. After a while, he brought in
another woman and introduced her as our mother. At first, she showed us love
and affection, but immediately she gave birth, things changed for the worst.
She turned us into domestic helps in our father’s house.
Our home became a living hell and that was when we started
looking for our biological mother. Our step mum made us to do all the household
chores and still gave us little food. We stopped having breakfast and sometimes
lunch is a big problem. When we complained to daddy, he would talk to her and
the next day, things would be worse. My brother started coming home late; he
joined the bad boys in school and started smoking and drinking.
At a point, he dropped out. I also started having boyfriends who
used to give me money because I lacked many things. There were times I couldn’t
afford common pad for my menstrual cycle and whenever I asked my daddy for
money, he would give it to my step mother who usually refused to give it to me.
Things became so bad that I left my daddy to join my mum who had also married
somebody else.
My mother  welcomed me and treated me as her daughter. I
gradually settled down, went to school and achieved something reasonable. My
brother’s case was different because he stayed with daddy and his wicked wife;
he became a school dropout and drug addict. I vowed that no matter what happens
in my marriage, I will never divorce my husband except if we don’t have kids.”
Mary Adeboyega, a psychologist, who spoke to Leadership on the
negative effects of divorce on children, said: “It is true that most couples
believe that divorce will solve all their problems, but research has proved
that it leaves devastating effects on all the children and extended family
members involved.
Divorce, in any circumstance, rips a child apart from loved
ones. It limits the time spent with one’s parents, and also leads to confusion.
It is always better for families especially children if couples settle their
differences amicably rather than get a messy divorce. Divorce is much more than
a legal dissolution because it has adverse effects on the children. Most of
them have no voice in the matter and do not know  where to go.
Divorce makes many children unruly, dropouts and drunkards.
Sometimes, this situation makes the child thinks that the parent with whom he
or she is living with is usually strict because that parent is always available
with tough discipline unlike the non residential parent who is regarded as
loving, kind and understanding because of the type of affection they show the
kids in order to compensate them for not being  always available.
Research has also shown that, Joint custody also opens doors for
constant movement for the children but divorce tends to confuse them for
parents to stay together because it makes the children to believe that if they
can’t work out their problems, they can go their separate ways.
Where there is constant verbal or physical attacks like beating
and sexual abuse, divorce is a better option. Also, when a spouse is committing
infidelity, divorce tends to make children think that they must have done
something wrong or hurtful due to which their parents have taken such a
decision.
Because of this, they go out of their ways to try and amend the
situation hoping that doing so will change their parents’ minds.
These children also have feelings of anxiety and one of the
common psychological effects on the children is when they take on the
responsibilities of the home by trying to comfort the rejected parent as well
as their siblings

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