■ Nigerians take to social media over Dapo’s new identity, blame parents
■ How he was raped at 6
The last has not been heard of Dapo Adaralegbe; the first Nige¬rian transgender who was born a boy, but has now transformed into a lady and now referred to as Stephanie Rose.
Dapo, who made history as the first Ni¬gerian to transform from male to female, recently released her latest photographs looking completely fair in complexion. He was a law student at the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), Ile Ife, Osun State until he was expelled in 2001 from the school due to identity crisis.
After the sad experience, he relocated to Netherlands as Dapo and later underwent surgery to change his gender from male to female. Before he left the country, Dapo granted an interview in which he spoke extensively about his life as a trans-sexu¬al, how he is a woman trapped in a man’s body and his ordeal as a student of O.A.U.
He was quoted to have said the follow¬ing: “I was studying Law at the Obafemi Awolowo University, (OAU), Ife. I am of the 1995 set, but I had to leave school in 2001 because of pressures. People were too harsh on me; they did not understand me at all.
When I was in school, the school au¬thorities got to know that I slept with my fellow male students. There was also an incident when I had to be admitted in the hospital. I was bleeding from the anus and I had bad pile arising from sexual inter¬course.
“When the school got to know the kind of person I was, they sent me to meet a Guidance Counselor, Professor Roger Ma¬kanjuola, who was the Vice Chancellor, who took care of me. You know he is a re-nowned Psychiatrist. He handled all issues relating to psychiatry with me.
He said I was okay and that nothing was wrong with my preferences, sexual-wise. He said it was just because I lived in an environment that did not tolerate that kind of behavior.
He recommended that I should meet another Guidance Counselor but I did not follow up. Even at that, there seems to be very little assistance one can get medically in Nigeria.
“After a time, I tried going back to school but they told me I have stayed too long away from the system. I applied to change over to University of Lagos (UNI¬LAG) and OAU authorities promised to assist with my transcripts, but they did not send it early, that was how I lost the chance of changing to UNILAG. I eventu-ally dropped out of school.”
In the report, he claimed that he started having sex at the age of six, adding that his parents failed to caution him when he was behaving as a girl at a tender age. “I know this will shock you but I started having sex at the age of six. I had this cousin of mine who used to bring his friend to our house. He was the first to make love to me.
“Since I was small, I realized that I had this feeling that I was a woman. I used to paint myself up and wear girls’ clothes. Nobody stopped or cautioned me. My mother later died when I was 11 years old. My father has other wives and no one par¬ticularly bothered about me. I am the last child of my mother, she had four of us,” Dapo reportedly said.
On his relationship with men, Dapo ex¬pressed his intention to leave the country and go to where he can find real love. In the report, he lamented that the men whom he had affair with in Nigeria, were only in¬terested in sex and do not want to identify with him.
“I told you I started having sex at the age of six, but no one in my family no¬ticed the problem until I was 14 years old. My father is a Professor of Education. My mother was also a Professor in the same discipline. When my dad got to know, I think he was among the people who made Professor Makanjuola to examine me.
“The truth is that I had gone too far, and I don’t want to talk about my family in this issue.
I have slept with a lot of people but my problem is that they were not faithful to me.
They were not committed; we just have sex and they go away. I wish to have a committed partner that is why I have been trying to get a real lover, one that will care about me.
In the alternative, I will like to relocate abroad where my kind exist.
In the University, I had several lovers but they were not serious. I have several men that I sleep with, I won’t mention their names. They cut across the low and highly placed, just let’s leave it at that. What I want is a committed partner. If I had a choice between getting cured and go¬ing for a surgery that will change my sex to a woman, I will prefer becoming a full woman.
“I am already a trans-sexual, the differ¬ence between me and other homosexuals are that while they just have the preference for sleeping with fellow men, I feel that I am a woman; I feel that someone should be making love to me the way men do to women. Since I started having sex, I am usually the female, the dormant partner. But do you know that right now, I need two things; a lover that is committed to me or help me to relocate out of this country,” he reportedly said.
His dreams however became a reality years later when Dapo found his way to Europe where he underwent a plastic sur¬gery that transformed him into a complete woman.
Meanwhile Nigerians and some of his colleagues in OAU have taken to the so¬cial media to express anger, pity and love for Dapo ever since his recent pictures sur¬faced on facebook. Although majority con¬demned his new look, some accused his parents of having failed in their role while others simply prayed that God will save his soul from extinction.
This is why they say train up a child the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. I read a story few days ago about a six year old child in UK who now has been officially cleared to have elective transgender surgery because he likes to play with dolls and dress up as a girl. Somebody somewhere is definitely hell bent on turning the world upside down for sure and freedom of choice is their war cry. May God help us all.
I knew Dapo in OAU Ile-ife and it was obvious he had so much going for him, emotionally and academically. It’s easy for me and everyone to condemn or criticize or pass all sort of comments but let’s not forget that we don’t know Dapo’s deep¬est fear, pain and all he has been through and as such we only should pray for him and not condemn him. If we all read that story well, it’s clear that Dapo never really had much support emotionally especially whilst growing up, the period that deter¬mines how we would turn out as adults. It’s too late now to go back to being male for Dapo, but thank God for God who is mer¬ciful and compassionate, I can only pray to God to lead you back to him. I know how it feels like to be emotionally unstable. I un¬derstand the impact it can have on human thinking and outlook to life; you begin to seek a sense of belonging in places and op¬tions you would normally not consider. I know God will not forsake you, Dapo. So if you are reading this, know that you were not born that way. The Bible says the Lord knew about you even before you were con¬ceived, he made you male for a reason but human intervention has made you feel like a female,”
I heard that some people claim that although they look like a man, but their emotions and way of reasoning is that of a woman. I have done my findings and dis¬covered that it is a thing of the mind and demonic domination as a result of idleness and generational curse. God never made mistake about his creation but in this era of computer age, we are turning things upside down. The devil is gradually getting a grip of the world.
Take a look at the life style of some of these western countries that we are imitat¬ing, they will tell you that you should not shout or beat your child if he or she misbe¬haves. Everyone is lawless. This is part of the reason why the world is getting to the brink of destruction.
While you were in Nigeria, we attended an event in Jibowu sometime in 2008 where issues of sexuality were being treated. You stood up that day and said homosexuality and sex is as unique as Jesus Christ. What a blasphemy. I wept in my heart for you because I knew you were a victim of child sexual abuse. In the whole world both men and women have the tendency to cheat. You better remain there, because we Nige¬rians will never tolerate your kind till the end of the world. I pray for your soul.
As long as I am concerned, his father, the so called professor should be held responsible. He should hide his face in shame and should not be allowed to teach in any school. How can you call yourself a teacher when your children are falling apart? Teachers are known to raise the best kids in the world. He was busy with women and forgot his children. May God judge him and other parents who are like the professor?
Nigerians should mind their business.
Most of our influential men in the society are gay. Dapo followed his heart and he is doing well. I know that one day, gay culture will be legal in Nigeria. It is a matter of time. Dapo live your life and concentrate on building yourself academically and financially.
When you become rich, Nigerians will respect you. If you have a major science breakthrough over there, Nige¬rian government will identify with you as their son. This could help us resurrect the case again and probably win it. Some of us in Nigeria will remain in the shadows till gay culture becomes legal. Ignore your critics
I hope parents will learn from this story. Don’t be too busy to monitor your children. If his mother was close enough to him, she would have discovered that Dapo was defiled at the age of six. It was then that he needed his parents most to explain that what happened to him, was a taboo and should be forbidden. I guess that cousin kept doing it again and again. I pray for his soul that God will deliver him from hell. What is the fun of having your anus perforated in the name of sex? God forbid.
Has anyone considered the role his environment played on him? A lot of people have recounted how they knew him in the past as someone who has identity crisis. Well, this is what it has led to. For those talking about God making him a man, what about hermaphrodites? I don’t know how he poses a threat to Nigeria when he is isn’t a member of Boko Haram,
Nigeria has so many of Dapo’s in the country, they are in the shadows for fear of stigmatization.
Shame on all of you who are condemning this child of God. What right do you have to pass judgment on an-other human being? You all are not different from Boko Haram.
I remember several times at school he was beaten un¬til he fell into coma. Judging from what has been writ¬ten here, those who knew him, the treatment he got was no different even at home or anywhere he went. Do you think he is doing this on purpose?
I can only imagine the misery he has experienced in his life at the hands of those who claim to act on behalf of God. The fact that he can find peace and understanding in another man’s land speaks volumes about the type of people we are.
■ Nigerians take to social media over Dapo’s new identity, blame parents