Recently, it was reported that former Miss Nigeria, Nike
Oshinowo is now a mother of twins (a boy and a girl) via surrogacy.
Oshinowo is now a mother of twins (a boy and a girl) via surrogacy.
The twins are Nike’s biological children but were carried
for nine months and birthed by another woman. It has also been alleged that the
47-year-old entrepreneur bought sperm from a sperm bank in the US. Nike
narrated her experience and agony of not being able to carry the pregnancy by
herself and more in this explosive interview. Excerpts:
for nine months and birthed by another woman. It has also been alleged that the
47-year-old entrepreneur bought sperm from a sperm bank in the US. Nike
narrated her experience and agony of not being able to carry the pregnancy by
herself and more in this explosive interview. Excerpts:
Background
I have lived with endometriosis since the age of 13. I was
sent to boarding school in England when I was seven. I went to prep school. It
was during the first few days in Secondary School that I began my period
(menstrual). They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized for 10 days
because the pain started and wouldn’t stop. I thought I was going to die. The
first two days I was in the infirmary with the matron and she kept saying, ‘O
Adenike! We understand that you miss home; we understand that it’s a rite of
passage, we understand it is difficult for you, we understand that every girl
must go through it, but just bear it’. I’m telling this story because it
happened in England and, supposedly, the white people, who knew best, yet had
no idea what was wrong with me. Every female student they had dealt with had
had a normal period and coped with it, so they could not understand why I was
dramatizing. They thought I just wanted attention. The pain was so intense, I
passed out. They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized. The challenge was
now to get me to stop bleeding.
sent to boarding school in England when I was seven. I went to prep school. It
was during the first few days in Secondary School that I began my period
(menstrual). They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized for 10 days
because the pain started and wouldn’t stop. I thought I was going to die. The
first two days I was in the infirmary with the matron and she kept saying, ‘O
Adenike! We understand that you miss home; we understand that it’s a rite of
passage, we understand it is difficult for you, we understand that every girl
must go through it, but just bear it’. I’m telling this story because it
happened in England and, supposedly, the white people, who knew best, yet had
no idea what was wrong with me. Every female student they had dealt with had
had a normal period and coped with it, so they could not understand why I was
dramatizing. They thought I just wanted attention. The pain was so intense, I
passed out. They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized. The challenge was
now to get me to stop bleeding.
Challenge
Living with endometriosis [a
disorder that occurs when the endometrium (cells lining the uterus) grow in
other area of the body, causing excruciating pain] is a challenge. When you see
your doctor, your doctor just tries to treat the symptoms and assumes the pain
revolves around your menstrual cycle. But it is not so. The pain affects every
single aspect of your life. I, as Nike Oshinowo, have never had an examination
without my period, I have never travelled without my period. There are so many
things I have never done without my period. When I am very happy my period
comes. When I’m depressed, my period is there. I learned to just cope with it.
I love the quote that women wear their pain like stilettos. That is what I have
been doing.
disorder that occurs when the endometrium (cells lining the uterus) grow in
other area of the body, causing excruciating pain] is a challenge. When you see
your doctor, your doctor just tries to treat the symptoms and assumes the pain
revolves around your menstrual cycle. But it is not so. The pain affects every
single aspect of your life. I, as Nike Oshinowo, have never had an examination
without my period, I have never travelled without my period. There are so many
things I have never done without my period. When I am very happy my period
comes. When I’m depressed, my period is there. I learned to just cope with it.
I love the quote that women wear their pain like stilettos. That is what I have
been doing.
Until I turned 40, Nigerians
didn’t know I suffered from endometriosis When I turned 40, I granted an
interview and Nigerians understood why I never drank alcohol. You cannot be on
medication and take alcohol. It was finally understood why I was so clean cut
and into healthy living. At last it was understood why, if I came to your
party, at 8pm I had to go home, to bed and to take my pain killers, because
when you live with endometriosis, you live with pain. I have a library in my
home. It is a library about pain. I have so many books on pain cure.
didn’t know I suffered from endometriosis When I turned 40, I granted an
interview and Nigerians understood why I never drank alcohol. You cannot be on
medication and take alcohol. It was finally understood why I was so clean cut
and into healthy living. At last it was understood why, if I came to your
party, at 8pm I had to go home, to bed and to take my pain killers, because
when you live with endometriosis, you live with pain. I have a library in my
home. It is a library about pain. I have so many books on pain cure.
Ignorance
It is extraordinary the effect
that endometriosis has on your life especially if you are ignorant. Ignorance
is of two types – knowingly or unknowingly. My mother, unknowingly, was
ignorant, because nobody had educated her about endometriosis. She had two
daughters, one didn’t suffer every month, the other did, but my mother didn’t
bother about it. She just figured the one that suffered would outgrow it,
especially since the doctors just recommended pain killers.
that endometriosis has on your life especially if you are ignorant. Ignorance
is of two types – knowingly or unknowingly. My mother, unknowingly, was
ignorant, because nobody had educated her about endometriosis. She had two
daughters, one didn’t suffer every month, the other did, but my mother didn’t
bother about it. She just figured the one that suffered would outgrow it,
especially since the doctors just recommended pain killers.
Pain
I talk about this pain now so
that mothers, when their young daughters are starting their periods for the
first time, and it is traumatic, they will go and sit with the doctors, ask
questions and have it checked out. Mine was left so late in life in spite of
the fact that I grew up in England. It was frightening. I wish I had someone to
blame; I wish I could blame the doctors. I have had many surgeries I have lost
count. I remember when Michael Jackson died and they talked about a drug he had
been taking and I exclaimed –’ oh yes, I have taken that drug!’ You try
everything to make the pain go away, so all I know is that I would not want a
child of mine to suffer endometriosis. No! The only way to make sure that does
not happen is to educate as many as I can.
that mothers, when their young daughters are starting their periods for the
first time, and it is traumatic, they will go and sit with the doctors, ask
questions and have it checked out. Mine was left so late in life in spite of
the fact that I grew up in England. It was frightening. I wish I had someone to
blame; I wish I could blame the doctors. I have had many surgeries I have lost
count. I remember when Michael Jackson died and they talked about a drug he had
been taking and I exclaimed –’ oh yes, I have taken that drug!’ You try
everything to make the pain go away, so all I know is that I would not want a
child of mine to suffer endometriosis. No! The only way to make sure that does
not happen is to educate as many as I can.
Understanding
Everyone understands what
cancer is. People know how to check for chest cancer, and are aware that for
cervical cancer, you do a pap smear. But endometriosis is not that easy. There
are symptoms mothers and fathers, nurses and aunts and other caregivers can
watch out for so that there would be needless suffering like I had. I am living
with endometriosis. I was born with it and there is no cure. Hopefully,
by the time I have menopause it will be better because once you stop
menstruating, everything is over. Hopefully!
cancer is. People know how to check for chest cancer, and are aware that for
cervical cancer, you do a pap smear. But endometriosis is not that easy. There
are symptoms mothers and fathers, nurses and aunts and other caregivers can
watch out for so that there would be needless suffering like I had. I am living
with endometriosis. I was born with it and there is no cure. Hopefully,
by the time I have menopause it will be better because once you stop
menstruating, everything is over. Hopefully!
Have
a baby
a baby
One ignorant doctor told me to
try to have a baby because once you have a baby, the pain would all go away. I
thought to myself that if I had a gun I would have shot that doctor, and I
would have been locked away and there would be no one to give me pain killers.
The reason for that relief generally is that when you are pregnant, you don’t
have periods and a long gap of not menstruating actually abates the symptoms of
endometriosis.
try to have a baby because once you have a baby, the pain would all go away. I
thought to myself that if I had a gun I would have shot that doctor, and I
would have been locked away and there would be no one to give me pain killers.
The reason for that relief generally is that when you are pregnant, you don’t
have periods and a long gap of not menstruating actually abates the symptoms of
endometriosis.
Challenge
But the challenge is the
pregnancy. How do I get pregnant to get to that stage? It was wonderful meeting
Dr. Abayomi Ajayi (of Nordica Fertility Centre, Lagos), who is so passionate
and knows so much about the ailment, in spite of the fact that he is a man and
he is so willing to share his knowledge. Whatever I can do to stop a girl of
12, 13 or 14 from suffering the pain of endometriosis until she experiences
menopause, I am willing to do. I’m working for endometriosis.
pregnancy. How do I get pregnant to get to that stage? It was wonderful meeting
Dr. Abayomi Ajayi (of Nordica Fertility Centre, Lagos), who is so passionate
and knows so much about the ailment, in spite of the fact that he is a man and
he is so willing to share his knowledge. Whatever I can do to stop a girl of
12, 13 or 14 from suffering the pain of endometriosis until she experiences
menopause, I am willing to do. I’m working for endometriosis.
Menopause
I’m 47, and I’m looking forward
to menopause. Menopause is slowly creeping up on me. People like us look
forward to it because it gives us a breather. I have finally learned how to
cope with the pain, how to live with endometriosis, and to manage it.
to menopause. Menopause is slowly creeping up on me. People like us look
forward to it because it gives us a breather. I have finally learned how to
cope with the pain, how to live with endometriosis, and to manage it.
It takes up a huge amount of my
time and life. One pastor once said to me that I have to reject it. He
told me not to say “my endometriosis” but to refer to it just as a disease
because it is, really, a disease. He said I must reject it. Well, I
rejected it, but it didn’t go away. It is still here and I’m learning to cope
with it. I hope those coming after me won’t have to cope the way I am. I expect
they will have more relief because they would have been educated.
time and life. One pastor once said to me that I have to reject it. He
told me not to say “my endometriosis” but to refer to it just as a disease
because it is, really, a disease. He said I must reject it. Well, I
rejected it, but it didn’t go away. It is still here and I’m learning to cope
with it. I hope those coming after me won’t have to cope the way I am. I expect
they will have more relief because they would have been educated.
Symptoms
The number one symptom is
severe pain, pain that you cannot imagine. That pain during periods is known as
dysmenorrhoea. A lot of people confuse dysmenorrhoea with endometriosis.
Dysmenorrhea could be a symptom of lots of things, but anyone experiencing painful
periods should see a doctor. Unfortunately, endometriosis cannot be diagnosed
without putting you to sleep and doing a laparoscopy to see what is going on.
There are many well-equipped clinics around and it is easy to diagnose because
our doctors are so well versed in laparotomy. It is not normal to have pain
during periods.
severe pain, pain that you cannot imagine. That pain during periods is known as
dysmenorrhoea. A lot of people confuse dysmenorrhoea with endometriosis.
Dysmenorrhea could be a symptom of lots of things, but anyone experiencing painful
periods should see a doctor. Unfortunately, endometriosis cannot be diagnosed
without putting you to sleep and doing a laparoscopy to see what is going on.
There are many well-equipped clinics around and it is easy to diagnose because
our doctors are so well versed in laparotomy. It is not normal to have pain
during periods.
Why
me?
me?
There is this thing about
endometriosis, that it is a disease not truly understood because we haven’t
done enough research. Where does it come from? How you get it is still not
thoroughly understood because enough awareness has not been created. Unlike
HIV/AIDS and cancer, a few years ago, there was no hope for a cure but now
there is more awareness and people do not die of these disorders as before. But
it is not the same about endometriosis. This makes me wonder. Is it because it
is a female thing? Is it because I’m a woman, considered a 2nd class citizen in
the world? Must I suffer because I’m a woman? You wonder and ponder over
these things. I need answers to these questions. Why do I have it and my sister
doesn’t? Is it hereditary? Someone should tell me. If I give birth to a girl,
would she have endometriosis? This is why we need serious awareness. My sister
doesn’t have this disorder. My mother doesn’t have it, but then, I look at my
mother’s siblings and I discovered I have a sister that doesn’t have a child. I
wonder if she suffered from endometriosis. I have a distant male cousin that
doesn’t have a child. Does it also affect boys? There are so many unanswered
questions. If I lock you up in a room for a month, you won’t finish answering
my questions. I have so many questions. We live in a country in which we
believe in symptoms more than the causes.
endometriosis, that it is a disease not truly understood because we haven’t
done enough research. Where does it come from? How you get it is still not
thoroughly understood because enough awareness has not been created. Unlike
HIV/AIDS and cancer, a few years ago, there was no hope for a cure but now
there is more awareness and people do not die of these disorders as before. But
it is not the same about endometriosis. This makes me wonder. Is it because it
is a female thing? Is it because I’m a woman, considered a 2nd class citizen in
the world? Must I suffer because I’m a woman? You wonder and ponder over
these things. I need answers to these questions. Why do I have it and my sister
doesn’t? Is it hereditary? Someone should tell me. If I give birth to a girl,
would she have endometriosis? This is why we need serious awareness. My sister
doesn’t have this disorder. My mother doesn’t have it, but then, I look at my
mother’s siblings and I discovered I have a sister that doesn’t have a child. I
wonder if she suffered from endometriosis. I have a distant male cousin that
doesn’t have a child. Does it also affect boys? There are so many unanswered
questions. If I lock you up in a room for a month, you won’t finish answering
my questions. I have so many questions. We live in a country in which we
believe in symptoms more than the causes.
No
to séx
to séx
Women with endometriosis do not
want to have séx because it’s painful. It is very, very painful. So you do not
want to have intercourse once and it is painful, you’ll not want to go there.
It’s not something you are going to look forward to. I have read books on this.
And even when you try to forget the fact that you do not want to, half the time
you are bleeding. You are either bleeding or you do not want. So on the
average, my friends’ periods last about 5 days; mine, if I’m lucky, lasts 7-10
days and if I’m super, duper lucky, lasts less than seven days. If I have eaten
what I should, and exercised constantly, it’s not so bad.
want to have séx because it’s painful. It is very, very painful. So you do not
want to have intercourse once and it is painful, you’ll not want to go there.
It’s not something you are going to look forward to. I have read books on this.
And even when you try to forget the fact that you do not want to, half the time
you are bleeding. You are either bleeding or you do not want. So on the
average, my friends’ periods last about 5 days; mine, if I’m lucky, lasts 7-10
days and if I’m super, duper lucky, lasts less than seven days. If I have eaten
what I should, and exercised constantly, it’s not so bad.
Exercise
works
works
If you look at a girl’s
menstrual cycle, 26-27 days, remove the 10 days she’s been menstruating and
remove the days she doesn’t want, when she has pre-ménstrual tension. When
every part of you is sore, on those days you are not going to want, and even on
the remaining five or so days that you are ‘OK, you are not going to want to
have intercourse because it is going to be painful. You just don’t want to. So
you cannot have a proper relationship with a man.
menstrual cycle, 26-27 days, remove the 10 days she’s been menstruating and
remove the days she doesn’t want, when she has pre-ménstrual tension. When
every part of you is sore, on those days you are not going to want, and even on
the remaining five or so days that you are ‘OK, you are not going to want to
have intercourse because it is going to be painful. You just don’t want to. So
you cannot have a proper relationship with a man.
Pain:
Between menses and endometriosis
Between menses and endometriosis
Sometimes it is difficult to
tell the difference, that is why it is necessary to do tests. If all these
symptoms are on, it is not the one you take analgesics. The pain from
intercourse occurs when there is the presence of endometrium. If diagnosed
early and you interrupt the sequence, other things may not follow, can advise
appropriately, infertility may follow, or told to have baby quickly, donor, or
give appropriate advice.
tell the difference, that is why it is necessary to do tests. If all these
symptoms are on, it is not the one you take analgesics. The pain from
intercourse occurs when there is the presence of endometrium. If diagnosed
early and you interrupt the sequence, other things may not follow, can advise
appropriately, infertility may follow, or told to have baby quickly, donor, or
give appropriate advice.
See
the doctor
the doctor
If you have a daughter with
pain, she would talk because she would think she is dying. I thought I was
dying because I was ignorant. Go with her to see a doctor when there is pain.
There are different tests. Doctors test with their hands, then they use the
scan. I did that. The important thing is that when something goes wrong, pain
is not normal, something is wrong, not to decide what to do, but as a good
mother, you take her to the hospital.
pain, she would talk because she would think she is dying. I thought I was
dying because I was ignorant. Go with her to see a doctor when there is pain.
There are different tests. Doctors test with their hands, then they use the
scan. I did that. The important thing is that when something goes wrong, pain
is not normal, something is wrong, not to decide what to do, but as a good
mother, you take her to the hospital.
Breaking
the silence
the silence
Endometriosis is as old as day
but women do not talk, because they are embarrassed to talk about anything down
there. What a woman is going to tell you is that she doesn’t like to sleep with
her husband. To get a woman to start talking to you about her periods, even
that will make you to be seen as a loudmouth; even talking about her periods,
it is not easy to get a woman to start talking about it. But doctors are
able to pick it up because they are infertile. Women are expected to have
children in these parts and, if they are incapable of that, they have to find
out why. Then they go to the doctor who traces it to endometriosis.
Ultimately infertility would arise and they have to go to a fertility doctor.
but women do not talk, because they are embarrassed to talk about anything down
there. What a woman is going to tell you is that she doesn’t like to sleep with
her husband. To get a woman to start talking to you about her periods, even
that will make you to be seen as a loudmouth; even talking about her periods,
it is not easy to get a woman to start talking about it. But doctors are
able to pick it up because they are infertile. Women are expected to have
children in these parts and, if they are incapable of that, they have to find
out why. Then they go to the doctor who traces it to endometriosis.
Ultimately infertility would arise and they have to go to a fertility doctor.
Face
of endometriosis
of endometriosis
The face of endometriosis isn’t
particularly glamorous. Even me, with my independent view, my laid-back
attitude, it’s not easy. When I thought about it, I have a mother and family. I
know what happened when I turned 40 and I talked about my endometriosis. I got
thinking and I almost put it off. But I said no, this is time for action, we
can’t keep postponing it. If they had postponed the research and awareness
campaigns into HIV/AIDS or cancer, there wouldn’t have been the breakthroughs
we have today.
particularly glamorous. Even me, with my independent view, my laid-back
attitude, it’s not easy. When I thought about it, I have a mother and family. I
know what happened when I turned 40 and I talked about my endometriosis. I got
thinking and I almost put it off. But I said no, this is time for action, we
can’t keep postponing it. If they had postponed the research and awareness
campaigns into HIV/AIDS or cancer, there wouldn’t have been the breakthroughs
we have today.
Knowledge
is power, information is king
is power, information is king
How do you get people to talk?
It is awareness, awareness, awareness. The more I talk about it, no matter how
embarrassing, the more awareness I’m creating. Talking about it is
embarrassing; I’m not immune to embarrassment, by the way. Before coming here,
I took my shame, locked it up and put the key in my bag and said I would face
you and tell the truth the way it is.
It is awareness, awareness, awareness. The more I talk about it, no matter how
embarrassing, the more awareness I’m creating. Talking about it is
embarrassing; I’m not immune to embarrassment, by the way. Before coming here,
I took my shame, locked it up and put the key in my bag and said I would face
you and tell the truth the way it is.
Endometriosis,
a disease
a disease
A disease is something that is
not supposed to be there, and that is what endometriosis is. You are not
supposed to have endometrial tissue in your abdomen. Surgery removes it, but
the moment you menstruate, the pain comes back. My understanding is that I have
a uterus, every woman does. Something lines it. Just like when you want to
bake, you line your pan with baking paper. That baking paper or lining is the
endometrial tissues. But mine isn’t just confined to my uterus. It’s in my
fallopian tube, it’s everywhere. Everywhere this tissue is, when you
menstruate, that tissue will be doing the same thing. And you feel pain.
Anywhere that tissue is, it behaves as if it is in the uterus. The purpose of
menstruation is to shed the lining and come out. I know someone who has
endometrial tissue in her gut. Even in the brain. When you menstruate, it also
menstruates and you feel pain there. Menstruation is made to shed and come out.
I have traced it back to the Old Testament. The woman that wouldn’t stop
bleeding and you wonder why? So it has been since the beginning.
not supposed to be there, and that is what endometriosis is. You are not
supposed to have endometrial tissue in your abdomen. Surgery removes it, but
the moment you menstruate, the pain comes back. My understanding is that I have
a uterus, every woman does. Something lines it. Just like when you want to
bake, you line your pan with baking paper. That baking paper or lining is the
endometrial tissues. But mine isn’t just confined to my uterus. It’s in my
fallopian tube, it’s everywhere. Everywhere this tissue is, when you
menstruate, that tissue will be doing the same thing. And you feel pain.
Anywhere that tissue is, it behaves as if it is in the uterus. The purpose of
menstruation is to shed the lining and come out. I know someone who has
endometrial tissue in her gut. Even in the brain. When you menstruate, it also
menstruates and you feel pain there. Menstruation is made to shed and come out.
I have traced it back to the Old Testament. The woman that wouldn’t stop
bleeding and you wonder why? So it has been since the beginning.
Culled from Daily Newswatch
